Patricia Howard was a very special lady. She was fun to be with, had a brilliant literary mind, a love of singing and a talent of water colour painting.
Patricia lived alone in a small and lovely house on the Danforth filled with her watercolour paintings and plays that she taught and loved.
Every year at the beginning of December I would get a call from Patricia letting me know that she was going to buy her Christmas tree in the next day or so and wondering when it would be a good weekend for the family to come and decorate her tree with her. It always had to fit in with her singing in the Sing a-long Messiah and us going away on a family trip. "It's a tradition" she would sing into the phone to me.
This was a very special tradition for us all as a) we're Jewish so did not have a tree to decorate of our own b) it was a wonderful get together filled with treats to eat and new ornaments to hang.
We would bring lunch and a bottle to scotch and always a few new ornaments to decorate the tree with. It seemed the right thing to do as a) each year at least one glass ball would break and fall down the floor vent, and b) each year our family's ornaments would intertwine with her family ornaments, joining the two families.
We would arrive and hear how she put the lights on first as it was the most tricky and time consuming part then as she and Larry would retire to the kitchen. The kids would grab some cookies and get to work. I always pretended to take on the duty of watching the kids but I loved decorating too.
At this time of year, perfectly themed and decorated trees are everywhere from magazines to stores to fancy home foyers. Our tree was a mash up of ornaments big and small, antique and new, plastic and wood. The ornaments always covered the height that the children's arms could reach.
As the kids grew, so did their reach.
I would struggle with my feelings thinking this was not a beautiful elegant tree and somehow we failed our yearly tradition. I would always place ornaments up top to fill the tree out more. I wanted it to look right and for Patricia to like the job that she had entrusted us with and she always was so proud of it, as were the kids.
Patricia died of a brain tumour this past Fall. At her funeral, strangers to us would come over and ask "Are you the Christmas tree family?" Everyone seemed to know that my kids were the ones who came over every year to decorate her tree. She was so proud of my children.
It only seemed fitting that this year, we have our own tree. It was not to celebrate the birth of Jesus, or celebrate the secular holiday of Christmas or winter. It was to celebrate the relationship between Patricia and our family. Patricia had so many ornaments. I asked that the 3 kids pick a few ornaments that they especially remembered and felt close to. Only a few did not make it on the tree.
True you do not need to have a physical item to remember a person, BUT not only did I love having the Patricia Tree in our front foyer, I loved that every time someone would come over and look questioningly at why a Jewish family would have a fully decorated tree in their front hallway we would re-tell the story of who Patricia was and our story. It made me feel so close to her for the entire week that we had the tree up.
I can't say yet if we will have another tree up again next year, but it was the right thing to do this year.
